Session 5: Pricks from the Rose Garden

A write-up of our biweekly Dungeons & Dragons campaign from the perspective of my character, Heyou, a teenage elf barbarian. Heyou was kidnapped at a young age by bandits. His family was murdered and his face disfigured, including the almost complete removal of his ears, before being sold to the orphanage where he grew up. Orphanages are big business in our fictional world as they produce the laborers that power the economy. The disfigurement means it was impossible for any extended family to identify and claim him. As a result, Heyou has a very jaded world view but also sees the ability to make money by perpetuating the kidnap-and-sell scam. He is not very bright but considers himself so and thus he frequently uses words incorrectly. Heyou and several of his fellow orphanage mates have reached the age where they must leave and go find jobs in the fields they have trained all their lives, however they have chosen a different path and have overthrown the thieves guild that once ran their small corner of town.

Session 5: Pricks from The Rose Garden

What is going on right now? Hard to believe but after cleaning toilets at the orphanage, I come back to find the rest of the crew and they are in deeper doo-doo that I just was. Figures. They need their leader.

I quickly try to sort out what is going on. From what I can tell, the crew seemed to have saved some guy named Bryan but apparently some other guy named Jorge on the other side of these double doors needs saving.

What the Hell are we doing here? Saving people? I leave for a couple of lousy days to help out at the orphanage and we’ve decided to go legit and start rescuing people? Some guild we are. Sad.

I sidle up to Black Lizard to get the lay of the land and he tells me we need a key to get through the double doors. As we’re talking, Mayella and her creepy doll walk up to the door and try to pick it.

Call me crazy but I swear that doll has got her possessed. She talks to it like it is talking back to her or something. If I was Paula I would damn sure never do business with the kidnappers that sold Mayella to the orphanage.

Mayella fails and I see her apologizing to the doll. I shudder as I turn to Black Lizard. He just shrugs and walks up to the door to listen. After a couple of seconds, he starts whispering back what he is hearing like he’s freaking Veego or something.

Elementaly, this Jorge character is in the room and some guys are really putting the screws to him, telling him to tell them where something important is. If he don’t, they’re going to take him to “The Boss” or kill more of his people.

I like how these guys work.

Then Black Lizard tells us he hears some guys on the other side of the door doing some voodoo mumbo jumbo religious casting stuff. Ain’t nothing good ever come from that so now we all got our dander up and want to get in that room like yesterday.

Dank runs up and picks the lock. It works because he tried some tools and not hugs or some weird crap from a doll. The door is stuck though but we force it up. No problem.

On the other side is this great big room. It looks like it was pretty fancy in its day but not taken care of so good recently. Sitting at the table is this one guy with his throat slit. There’s this other guy with a white stripe on his clothes that looks absolutely beat to a pulp. Then there’s the two guys on their knees chanting some stuff to their gods, that’s probably not going to be really good for White Stripe…or us. Also, I see four guys in black leather outfits with black roses on them, which looks completely bad ass. I gotta talk with Sanjay about getting some coin for new outfits that Jillian can whip up for us. Lastly, there’s one dude in a black leather armor with a red rose on it. Seems like he’s the boss so most likely the guy I’m going to have words with if this thing goes sideways.

It always goes sideways. This Bryan guy is a perfect example why.

Bryan goes charging into the room like he’s our old bunkmate Leeroy. Unfortunately, it accomplishes nothing, again like Leeroy last time he did it before he was killed, as he can’t hit the Black Roses. Taking a closer look, it seems like these Black Roses are fading in and out. That can’t be good.

It’s also unfair, which really irritates me, so I get a bit of the red ass and charge in, swinging Wererat Slayer at Red Rose. Remove the head and kill the beast, right? I miss though, but just barely.

While I am trying to hack Red Rose to pieces, Black Lizard casts something at one of the chanting guys. I don’t think it had any affect though. Bryan also sneaks up on one of the enemies to launch a surprise attach and Mayella also casts a spell that seems to do nothing.

Black Lizard is now tangled up with the two Black Roses. One of them manages to stab him real good and suddenly Black Lizard doesn’t look so good. He’s still able to put some moves on the two Black Roses though as the second one accidentally stabs the one that hit Black Lizard.

In another direction I see Dank take a blow from the enemy. He stumbles back, jerking and fretting. It’s really embarrassing how bad of an actor he is but the enemy is buying it. They Leviticusly think they hurt him with their non-silver weapon. Idiots. While I am watching the bad theater though Red Rose slashes me.

Thoroughly pissed now I smash Red Rose back while Black Lizard dispatches one of the mages. Meanwhile Veego jumps into the fray, dropping one of the Black Roses and stabbing at Red Rose but missing. At the same moment, Jillian murders the other mage. In the confusion, Dank drops the act, popping up and executing a Black Rose.

One of the Black Roses starts to say something – all we make out is a “Ju-“ – but Red Rose silences him with a murderous look, telling Black Rose not to say “his” name. Now who is this new guy they are talking about? I don’t know, but what I do know is that means we probably can’t kill all of these guys. Someone is going to have to live and do some talking. Dammit.

Next thing we know Red Rose is dropping his sword and pulling out a wand. Just freaking great. He aims it at us, waves it menacingly…and then a tiny ball of orange light arcs out of it.

Really? It’s all I can do to not fall over laughing at how weak that is. Red Rose must have realized how weak it was too because he hightails it out of the room through the door in the corner to the right.

The last two remaining Black Roses drop back to cover Red Rose’s retreat after that sad display of magic. Black Lizard is also not impressed with Red Rose and casts a spell on him. Suddenly Red Rose doesn’t look so good. He’s obviously never came up against really good magic before.

After that for some reason Black Lizard grabs this Jorge guys and dives across the table. Once on the other side he puts all his strength into trying to flip the table. The table is enormous and looks to be made off mahogany so Black Lizard obviously can’t do it on his own. No idea what he was thinking. And then he hides underneath it? What the Hell is he doing?

Mayella thrusts her raggedy doll out toward the Black Roses and mumbles some magic stuff. Some sort of ray that feels ice cold as it shoots by streaks toward the Black Roses covering Red Rose’s retreat. It explodes and suddenly the area is filled with a thick mist. Awesome. She just gave Red Rose more cover to run from us.

I shake my head and then lower it and charge into the mist. I’m pretty sure where both the Black Roses were last standing in it, so I aim to smash one of them against the stone wall. I enter the mist at full speed and feel myself connect with a body in the area I remember one of the Black Roses being. Filled with rage, I bull rush the foe into the opposing wall. He hits it with a satisfying squish, and I feel a splatter of warm blood cover me.

With that done I move to the door and try to smash it down to get to Red Rose. Black Lizard is suddenly there next to me pitching in. With a massive kick he manages to break it open into the room where Red Rose retreated.

As I charge in Black Lizard tells the others to seek cover inside. Cover from what? We are routing them.

At that moment a massive explosion comes from the main room and a gout of flame and red-hot heat rushes into the smaller room we chased Red Rose into. I avoid most of it but am slightly singed. Bryan and Jorge? Not so much. They’re fried to a crisp. Oh well. I didn’t know those guys so no big loss in my opinion. Also, a bunch of White Stripes who has entered the room at some point got cooked real good too.

Once the confusion if over we look around the small side room and notice Red Rose is not there plus there is no other door leading out from the room. It looks like the room once held weapons and armor but almost all of it is destroyed. Not all of it though and we know what that means! Magic stuff!

Dank takes a dagger that he says lets him tell if someone is dead or not. Seems to me every dagger does that depending on whether it is inside someone or not, but oh well. Mayella grabs a hood that she says makes it easier for her to move silently in the dark. That will make it easier to break into houses and kidnap children at night. Dank pulls on a pair of boots that make it, so he doesn’t make any noise. I try to fart in one but that still makes a noise. Disappointing but I still see where it will be valuable to us as we sneak up on children we are trying to kidnap. Lastly, Veego takes a short sword that will help him defend himself against attackers.

While the rest of the crew is trying out their new stuff to figure out what it does, I resume my role as the leader and search for the obvious secret door that allowed Red Rose to escape. Being the superior person in the group I quickly find a lever in the door. I show it to Black Lizard, and he agrees it’s to open a secret door.

When I go to pull it though I stumble and accidentally smash a pair of shelves. It’s ok though because suddenly a panel slides open in the floor and we see a set of stairs. Dank puts his sniffer to work, says he catches a whiff of Red Rose and disappears down the steps. A short while later he returns and says he followed the passage to the end where it opens into a public space. He lost the trail there.

I’m upset that Red Rose got away, but we hear more footsteps coming and decide it’s best to be gone from here too. Before we abandon the room though we find a wand on Bryan. We all pile into the stairwell and follow the tunnel to its end. Once outside we head back to the base of operations for our guild and rest for the night.

The next morning, we hear a knock at the door and Big Ulp is standing there. He tells us Red wants an audience with us, which doesn’t surprise me because we have been doing awesome for him so far, but what really blows us away is he wants to meet with him at the Regency.

The Regency is THE most fancy place for the criminal element. It’s legendary in the world of guilds. At the Regency, the biggest, most successful and dangerous guild leaders hold meetings, settle grudges and are often given very important – and high-paying! – jobs. For someone like us just starting out to be invited there is big time! Red must really be impressed with the direction I am leading the crew.

We follow Big Ulp to the hotel. There’s not much to say about it from the outside but once we get past the guards at the front door, oh boy. This place is full of the rich stuff. Gold leaf. Crystal chandeliers. Priceless paintings. Everyone dressed in the latest and most expensive fashions. This is what we need to try to be as a guild. I am just hoping the crew sees this and understands the potential. So what if a couple of bastard brats get cut up a little in the process?

Big Ulp leads us to a private room(!) where a waiter comes and asks us what to eat, telling us we can have anything we want. I dive in. Eggs. Toast. Sausages. Potatoes. Biscuits. Gravy. Everything we never got at the lousy orphanage. Everything I am going to eat every morning once we strike it big in the guild game.

Shortly after that the man himself, Red comes into the room. He starts by telling we can’t kill anyone at the Regency. In fact, violence in any manner is not allowed. After that he brings up the Black Rose and Red Rose characters. Apparently, the Rose Guild are some up and comers. They recently wiped out the Candy Canes guild. All told, the city is down four guilds until we came along, replacing one. If this Rose Guild is making waves and we just thumped a bunch of them, what does that say about us? It says we’re rising to the top of that mountain, that’s what.

Veego asks Red is he if knows the leader of the Rose Guild, mentioning the one Black Rose who has said, “Ju-.”

Red tells us he does know the leader but doesn’t want to say his name. That seems weird that Red is afraid or something but as the brains of the outfit I know what to do. I assure Red that we’re his guys and are here to do whatever he needs.

Dank pipes up and asks how to kill all the Rose Guild members. Excellent question. Red tells us though that they are harder to kill than wererats. I think about the one I killed and Red Rose running scared, so I don’t quite agree with him.

I ask him about them fading in and out, and Red tells us that the Rose Guild has lots of magic at their disposal. My head starts churning. It becomes obvious to me that we need to catch one of the Rose Guild bastards and find out where their magic comes from. We need to do this for Red to continue to elevate ourselves in his eyes.

Red goes on to tell us that there used to be a Council that ruled the guilds, but it was eliminated. This set off a series of guild wars that lead to the establishment of neutral grounds like the Regency, which Red manages. He says at one point there were almost 50 guilds in the city but now that number is closer to 35.

We mention Scotes to Red who tells us he thought Scotes was dead. He also informs us that Scotes worked for himself.

At that, Red ended the meeting, allowing us to finish our meals before we left.